SmileforSomeone

i will try to be brief and i will try to be blunt, you hurt me more than i ever thought possible but i let you and i’m sorry.

I am too much and too little at the same time. I want to rip you apart, eat your heart, swallow your intestines like fine wine. I sample the little bits of you, greet your ribcage like an old friend, drag my tongue across the meaty insides of your thighs. I can feel your gaze on me as you slowly shrivel up, drag fingers delicately across your burning forehead, trace your scars, simple at best. And there are holes in my lungs and throat and stomach and I try to fill them with your parts, the little bits of you, eyes and ears and all, I dig my nails into your skin, pull petals from the deepest parts of you, pick you apart piece by pi

This poem isn’t a poem. This poem is the moonlight reflecting off of your eyelids, pale skin taught under your throat. This poem is the way your body bends in the morning, shaky palms pressing against your eyes, voice three octaves deeper than normal. This poem is your mouth on my neck, the way your fingers play with my waistband, tug softly on my hip bone, my snowy wrists bending obediently, burying my hands in your hair, tongue on your collarbone and knot in my throat and sheets rustling and hearts beating fasterfasterfaster. This poem is legs entwining and hip bruising and teeth against skin. This poem is kinetic hate; this poe

I wake, caught in the cage that is my body, ancient and bent in two, fractured spine, ripped fingernails, baring my teeth at anything that comes close. My love, aquatic but evolving, yearns to dig toes into stagnant mud, forked tongue tasting the coast between bone marrow and ocean, finding no difference. I am not a wild animal, not the vicious yearning that tugs at my chest, rips my heart in two. I am moving into the electric age, luminescent eyes darting from one silver screen to another, reimagining myself as a movie star, crumbling under the gaze of so many and so few. I have loved and I still love, love with my primal cl

There you are, ocean and navy blue waves, skeleton prying open my eyes, baby bird clavicle taut under my fingertips. There you are, everything and nothing all at once, turbulent stomach, sharp tongued and lovely. I try to pretend, close my eyes and wish for your touch, feel the daggers in my spine, ice on my breath. I grab my toes, raccoon-eyed and spineless, empty at last.

Here I am, ashy gray and silent, heavy in my jam jar sarcophagus, icy catalyst, jet fuel and honeycomb crawling through my bloodstream. I watch blue whales filter through my brain with their baleen smiles, krill swimming upstream, trout navigating my tepid esophagus. Here is where marine meets mammal meets me, bones and flesh intertwining with scales, gills gasping on translucent thighs. I am everything and nothing, primitive in my fear, feral with love. My tired prey limbs limp through splinters, clamber over porcelain mugs, dirty and feline, china dolls restless with beauty. Here I am, vicious, spineless and cruel, inverte

my body is not my body. my body is two hundred and forty six firefly wings stuffed into an empty ink sack, my body is the third planet from the sun. i do not feel real in this body, in this cage, this tomb that encases all i am and was and want to be. this body convulses, moves in weird ways, fingertips dancing on thighs, sporadic at best. he pulls me close, touches my stomach, my thighs, grabs onto bike-handle ribs and burrows inside of me, obstinate until the end, crawls over my scarred wrists and puzzles me, makes me beautiful in a way i've never been, bends me to him. my body is a mystery to be solved. my body is r

i memorize your angles in the moonlight, freckles like islands on a pale ocean, entwined in dark blue bed sheets and an infinite span of skin; rough fingers splayed on whale-bone ribs, a feathered clavicle, sharp elbows burrowing under pillows, no air left between us. i close my eyes and wonder what it was like to fall asleep alone.

i am an unfathomable consequence of love. i am a byproduct of a chemical fire that has been burning for four point five four billion years, heels digging into dirt, building myself over and over again from scratch. i tilled the bones of therapods, reimagined saurischian joints as my own, my body terrible and mighty, grew fangs the size of my palms, developed a taste for death. my lover cradles my heart in his, curls up against my stomach, coaxes my ancient bones into something beautiful. i shed my scales, pale skin blossoming over newborn fossils, grow my love for him in my throat, roses blooming in my lungs. i fall asl