the world is loud...

this is not your hate, it is mine
and i close my eyes, consumed.

you will find me asleep, sinless,
blistered fingers grasping,
wallowing in innocence and  
ripping whispers from your skin.
you will find me, something
so ancient and lost, bleeding
where they can't see.

sometimes i am terrified of
you and your makeshift
antlers, your big city dreams.
sometimes i wake up and i am
not afraid of anything. sometimes
i forget and remember and
forget again but none of that
really matters because

i will always have your steel-
stomached sunshine. i will always
have your dust-filled solar flares,
your whispers nestled between my
shoulder blades, your bones in my
teeth. i close my eyes and breathe you in.

i have hate. i have hate and fears
and constellations on my palms
but none of that matters because

i only want to make you smile.